It started with my husband telling me that one of our friends mentioned how skinny I got after seeing us in the supermarket the other day. You wouldn’t even think anything of it. Just another person telling me I was skinny. Like I didn’t know. I’m one of these lucky bitches that can absolutely eat whatever they want and won’t put any weight on. I have never been on a diet in my whole life. I definitely tried to eat clean, but never dieted. My whole life people have been telling me that I’m skinny and even underweight and how I should eat more to get some meat on my bones (insert eye roll here). I am so used to it I don’t even blink an eye. Yeah sure, tell me something new.
I have been hearing these comments my whole life so why does it bother me now? Because I became a mother. It’s that simple, yet so significant. I loved my body before I was pregnant. Not always, especially when I was a teenager and wanted a few more curves, but throughout my twenties I taught myself how to love my body, how to look after it and how to be grateful that I was healthy and had a body that many women would aspire to. When I became pregnant, I loved all the weight gain. There might be women who dread to step on that scale to see how much they have gained. I loved it! I would’ve never been able to weight this much if I wasn’t pregnant. I finally knew what it was like to have more curves (even if they were in the wrong places – hello baby bump) and I absolutely embraced it. I felt feminine. Every day I was in awe of how my body was growing this little human inside and kept me going at the same time. After Max was born and I saw what my body was capable of, I was even more in love with it.
The postpartum time where your body is this strange shape of a deflated baloon and you have parts of your body that have been stretched and haven’t quite got back to how they used to be, I didn’t mind. I knew my body was healing and that it was taking its time to recover. Breastfeeding made me be in awe of my body. I was amazed that my body could produce and deliver a perfect baby and then keep him alive by giving him the best nurture possible. I gained a whole new respect for my body. So when I started loosing all the baby weight, I didn’t see somebody weak. I saw somebody who has created a human being, is keeping him alive and is running around him all day long (or after him as of recently). So I think it’s very rude to be commenting on my body and telling me I got skinny. I think it’s disrespectful. I feel like showing my perfect baby boy and saying: look what it created! How dare you judge my body?
So before you pass a comment on another mother’s body again – just stop. Stop right there. Unless you want to praise her body for the miracle of creating life, you have no right to say anything.
P.S. I don’t think passing judgement on a woman’s body is right – whether she is a mother or not. Whether she is skinny or fat or square or round. Just let her be.